blushing bird journal

starting fresh

2009-01-01T22:34:00.000-08:00

happy new year!!

i've decided to start fresh with a new blog. you can now find me here.

on my new blog, my focus will be my photography. i hope to post photos there often. and words when/if they come to me. hope to see you there...

life's simple pleasures

2008-12-11T20:04:00.000-08:00

pomanders, nikon d80

Now more than ever, I am realizing just how important it is to find joy in life's simple pleasures. Perhaps that's what inspired me to arrive at my sister's house with a crate full of clementines and a few jars of cloves. Together, we made pomanders by gently pressing the cloves into the clementines, creating pretty patterns. So simple to make, and they smell divine! I arranged mine in a bowl...they make a delightful centerpiece. I think we may have just started a new holiday tradition!

Be sure to check out this article for other do-it-yourself, eco-friendly holiday ornaments. Oh, and I'd love to hear about the simple pleasures you're enjoying this holiday season!

a blessing in disguise

2008-12-06T23:48:00.001-08:00

calm, nikon d80

i hope to add some words to this post tomorrow afternoon...and to reconnect with everyone! i've been a bit lost for quite a while. and then something happened this past week...something that seemed devastating at first. but in my heart i know that it's as blessing in disguise...

king of my love

2008-10-03T17:31:00.000-07:00

us, nikon d80

"You're king of my big sunny smile now
You're king of my red rosy cheeks..."

from King of My Love by Jonatha Brooke / Woody Guthrie

I am grateful

2008-09-30T08:43:00.000-07:00

a cat named puppy, nikon d40

I am grateful for...
* The toad that sits outside our door each night. We named him Howard. Seeing him always makes me smile. He used to hop away if I stepped too closely to him but not anymore. I wonder what he would say if he could talk. ..
* Our kitty cat. Her name is Puppy! When I pull into the driveway, I can see her before I even get out of the car. She's always watching out the window, patiently waiting for affection. Oh, and she snores! Sometimes with her eyes open. Silly Puppy.
* My darling husband. He once told me that I make it fun to be him. (Best compliment, ever!) I can honestly say that he does the same for me. I love him to the moon and back!

Thanks to Steph and Amy and Amy for inspiring this post!

Note to Self

2008-09-24T19:25:00.000-07:00

journal page, nikon d80

I wrote this "note to self" in my journal exactly two weeks ago today. The day I headed off to Squam. At the time, I was terrified - with a capital TERRIFIED! I was hopeless when I so desperately wanted to be hopeful. I was consumed by fears, worries, doubts, insecurities. I needed to change my attitude, and I knew it. So, I jotted down these words of advice, from myself to myself. And a funny thing happened: I actually felt better!

This had never happened before...I had actually managed to find strength - and comfort - in my own self-talk! Such a glorious feeling. Absolutely glorious.

For the past few days, though, I have been feeling a bit hopeless again. My self-talk has become progressively more negative. Apparently, this is going to require a conscious effort!

2nd note to self: read 1st note to self VERY FREQUENTLY!

What is your note to self?

this is only the beginning

2008-09-18T15:33:00.000-07:00

little flowers, nikon d80

Life at Squam was simple. I had a purpose. I found clarity. I felt whole.

When I say that it was simple, I certainly don't mean that it was easy. It challenged me on so many levels. Creatively. Emotionally. Socially. It invited me to grow.

And I did... G R O W.

I caught a glimpse of the artful life. A glimpse of what it would be like to pour myself into something that matters to me. It was an extraordinary experience. And it left me wanting more.

But, life at home presents a new challenge. How can I honor Squam in my everyday? When and where can I possibly squeeze that in? There are bills to pay. Groceries to buy. Dirty laundry to wash, dry, fold, put away. Two jobs to work. Three if you count the photography gigs I have started taking on (yay!). Hardly a moment to revel in the sheer delight that I experienced during my 5 days at Squam.

It will take time...I am making peace with that fact. And at least I have something to work toward now. Because honestly, I have been floating around for twenty-eight years now, not knowing what I want to do with my life. And now I know! Now I know. I want to be an artist. I want to live artfully. Everyday it becomes a bit more clear. And this is only the beginning.

back into hope

2008-08-30T20:01:00.000-07:00

reverie, nikon d40

I've always liked the idea of writing, of being someone who writes. But this has become quite a problem for me, as I can't seem to get out of my own way. I can't seem to commit to words, ANY words. They never look quite right. They never sound quite right.

But I think I've finally discovered the root of this problem: my hopes for my writing have become expectations. Expectations that my writing must be poetic and profound. That my words must move others the way others' words have moved me.

So, I've decided to try something new, starting NOW. I've decided to abandon the possibility of being a writer in favor of allowing myself to become one. I've decided to give myself the time and space to transform my expectations back into hope.

natural rhythms

2008-08-28T21:36:00.000-07:00

self-portrait, nikon d40

Lately, I've been working especially hard to honor my natural (and often emotional) rhythms. Sometimes this means reaching out. Connecting with others. Giving and receiving. But other times it means becoming quiet. Looking inward. And deepening my sense of self.

I'm feeling quiet at the moment. Actually, I've been feeling this way for nearly two weeks. But something tells me I'll be ready to come out of hiding again soon.

How do you honor your natural rhythms? I would love to know.

in the beginning

2008-08-20T21:42:00.000-07:00

rotten apples, nikon d80

"In the beginning we have no choice but to accept what has come to us, hoping that the cinders some forest spirit saw fit to bestow may turn to gold when we have carried them back to the hearth." Lewis Hyde, from The Gift

it rings so true

2008-08-15T11:48:00.000-07:00

red shoes, nikon d80

Each week, I receive Rob Brezsny’s FreeWill Astrology Newsletter via e-mail. I can always count on his insightful words to get the wheels in my head turning…

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): It's clear to me that a part of you needs to come out of hiding. I'm not exactly sure what that means, though. Maybe there's a talent you've buried that's ready to emerge into the light. It could be that a question you've been trying to ignore is finally ripe to be asked. Perhaps you've been stoically putting up with a tweaked situation that you really should rise up and transform. What do you think it is, Capricorn?

(Check out your horoscope here.)

It’s the free-spirited part of me that needs to come out of hiding. The part of me that is wise and brave and joyful.

I can imagine myself fresh. Fearless. Full of wonder. With wide open eyes and a wide open heart. Wearing funky red shoes and handknit scarves. Breathing in nature. Dancing with the trees. Mingling with the butterflies.

I have so many dreams! I want to be an artist. A creative portrait photographer. And I’d like to dabble in mixed-media collage. (Perhaps I’ll mix the two together, somehow?)

I want to immerse myself in all things handmade. To sew. To knit. To gather and invent. I want my work to feel like play.

The thrilling part is that I can actually feel my spirit becoming more and more free. Slowly, gently, I am transforming into a more passionate version of me.

It's amazing to me that a horoscope can ring so true. ..

What part of you needs to come out of hiding?

happy love thursday!

2008-08-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

payton and lori, nikon d80

Love is holding on to one another when it gets a little windy.

Check out other Shutter Sisters Love Thursday photos here.

to see beauty

2008-08-11T17:04:00.000-07:00

afternoon turquoise, nikon d40

In September, I'll be going to Squam Art Workshops in Holderness, New Hampshire. I am wildly hopeful that the experience will kick-start a sort of creative unfolding for me. And I can't wait to meet all of the beautiful souls who will be there!

Here is a quote which appears on the SAW homepage:

"Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old." Kafka

What a fascinating theme for a creative retreat! It gives me hope to think of creativity in terms of the ability to see beauty. I have often wondered why I'm so drawn to the idea of being an artist when making art doesn't seem to come naturally to me. But maybe being an artist can mean more than just making art. Maybe being an artist can also mean seeing art - seeing beauty - in our everyday world. And oh, how I need to see beauty in this world!

Here on my new blog, I hope to share with you the beauty that I see...